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from Nan

THE ALL-TIME WORST ANSWERS

Answers given to survey questions on "Family Feud:

Name something a blind person might use: A sword

Name a song with moon in the title: Blue Suede Moon

Name a bird with a long neck: Naomi Campbell

Name a famous brother and sister: Bonnie & Clyde

Name a dangerous race: The Arabs

Name an item of clothing worn by the 3 Musketeers: A horse

Name something that floats in the bath: Water

Name something you wear on the beach: A deckchair

Name a famous cowboy: Buck Rogers

A number you have to memorize: SEVEN

Something you do before you go to bed: Sleep

Something you put on walls: Roofs

Something in the garden that's green: The shed

Something that flies that doesn't have an engine: A bicycle with wings

Something you might be allergic to: Skiing

Something a cat does: Goes to the toilet

Someting you do in the bathroom: Decorate

Name an animal you might see at the zoo: A dog

Something associated with the police: Pigs

A sign of the Zodiac: April

A famous Scotsman: Jock

Another famous Scotsman: Vinnie Jones

Something with a hole in it: A window

A non-living object with legs: A plant

A domestic animal: A leopard

A part of the body beginning with "N": Knee

A way of cooking fish: Cod

Something you open other than a door: Your bowels

from Nan

TOP 35 OXYMORONS

35. State worker
34. Legally drunk
33. Exact estimate
32. Act naturally
31. Found missing
30. Resident alien
29. Genuine imitation
28. Airline Food
27. Good grief
26. Government organization
25. Sanitary landfill
24. Alone together
23. Small crowd
22. Business ethics
21. California Schools
20. Jumbo Shrimp
19. Military Intelligence
18. Sweet sorrow
17. Rural Metro (ambulance service)
16. "Now, then ..."
15. Passive aggression
14. Clearly misunderstood
13. Peace force
12. Extinct Life
11. Plastic glasses
10. Terribly pleased
9. Computer security
8. Political science
7. Tight slacks
6. A Definite maybe
5. Pretty ugly
4. Rap music
3. Working vacation
2. Religious tolerance

And the number one Oxymoron....

1. Microsoft Works

WOMEN'S T-SHIRT SAYINGS

Guys have feelings too. But like... who cares?

I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.

Next mood swing: 6 minutes.

I hate everybody, and you're next.

I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ok now.

Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.

Remember my name - you'll be screaming it later.

Don't worry. It'll only seem kinky the first time...

Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?

I'm multi-talented: I can talk and irritate you at the same time.

Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win.

All stressed out and no one to choke.

I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people.

from Kath

LINKS

Lyrics World

On this site, you will find lyrics of most of the songs that hit #1 over a sixty-year span from 1930 to 1999. You can search by year, by artist or by title. They are continuously adding more lyrics.

FishSearch.com Search Engine

If you're into the sport of fishing, there's a search engine built for you at the aptly named FishSearch. A huge collection of sites and resources -- from getting gear to planning trips to catching fish.

American FactFinder

American FactFinder is a new data access and dissemination system that provides useful facts and information about your community, your economy, and your society. The system will find and retrieve the information you need from some of the Census Bureau's largest data sets.

American FactFinder lets you select the data you need for the geography of your choice from summary data files such as: 1990 Decennial Census Detailed Files, American Community Survey Summary Tables, Census 2000 Dress Rehearsal Summary Files and 1997 Economic Census Summary Files.



Crayola Family Play

At Crayola's Family Play, you will find hundreds of activities to do with your kids. Familyplay promises lots of "fun, informative and engaging" activities for kids. Subjects range from math to nutrition.



Absolute Trivia - Totally Trivia Search Engine

You will find 20 categories at Absolute Trivia to choose from, inventions to people. Take some of the trivia tests provided online. See how well you know your trivia. This is fun site to explore and can easily spend several hours here.



Name That Movie

How good are you at naming movies when given only clues? This website compliments a twice a week newsletter. In each newsletter issue, the editor provides clues on two movies. You then submit your answers back to the editor. The answers to the clues are provided in the next newsletter as well as online. There are no prizes (yet?) to be won. Your name goes up on the Hall of Fame board online. Each newsletter is archived online, so if you want to take a look at past issues before subscribing. I registered early last week. So far I have answered three of the four questions correctly. I was completely stumped on the fourth question!

Humor

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base.
~~ Dave Barry ~~

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was, "You'll never find anyone like me again!" I'm thinking, 'I should hope not? If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you?'
~~ Larry Miller ~~

What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?
~~ Marilyn Pittman ~~

When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?
~~ Robin Williams ~~

A woman broke up with me and sent me pictures of her and her new boyfriend in bed together. Solution?? I sent them to her dad.
~~ Christopher Case ~~

My mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'
~~ Paula Poundstone ~~

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.
~~ Rita Mae Brown ~~

Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.
~~ Jerry Seinfeld ~~

The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there - Corkscrews, Bottle openers. 'Come on, buddy, let's go. You get past me, the guy in back of me, he's got a spoon. Back off. I've got the toe clippers right here.'
~~ Jerry Seinfeld ~~

Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my Gosh.... I could be eating a slow learner.
~~ Lynda Montgomery ~~

Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography.
~~ Paul Rodriguez ~~

Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?
~~ Lily Tomlin ~~

Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.
~~ Jerry Seinfeld ~~

In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?
~~ Warren Hutcherson ~~

"I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else."
~~ Lily Tomlin ~~

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
~~ Marsha Warfield ~~

Have you ever noticed.... Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
~~ George Carlin ~~

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
~~ Rita Rudner ~~

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said, "Would you like some fries with that?"
~~ Jay Leno ~~

The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.
~~ Roger Simon ~~

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
~~ Dave Edison ~~

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
~~ George Gobel ~~

Don't spend two dollars to dry clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it and put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it back for seventy five cents.
~~ William Coronel ~~

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
~~ Oscar Wilde ~~

Suppose you were an idiot... And suppose you were a member of Congress ... But I repeat myself.
~~ Mark Twain ~~

[More bits of wisdom from Shelley. - shirley]

I'd like to see...

Donuts would be declared a health food.

Walking into a room and forgetting why you are there would be a sign of genius.

Men's pajamas, sized extra large, would be considered elegant evening wear.

Glasses & car keys would holler, "Right here!" when you ask aloud, "Where did I put them?"

The word "plump" would be interchangeable with the word "sexy" and "attractive."

Teenagers would always be asking, "What else can I do to help you, Mother?"

On long car trips, husbands would be required to periodically ask their wives,"How would you like to stop at that cute little shop, have some tea and scones, and browse for a while?"

A sense of humor and a kindhearted nature would be valued more highly than being skinny or young or beautiful.

from Nan

GOT THIS FROM
WARMFUZZYFEELINGS LIST...NEAT!

LESSONS IN LIFE

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, they serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help you figure out who you are or who you want to become.

You never know who these people may be; your roommate, neighbor, professor, long lost friend, lover or even a complete stranger who, when you lock eyes with them, you know that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way.

Sometimes things happen and at the time they may seem horrible, painful and unfair, but in retrospect you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, will power or heart.

Everything happens for a reason.
Nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck.
Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul.
Without these small tests, whether they be events, illnesses or relationships, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere.
Safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet who affect your life and the successes and downfalls you experience create who you are, and even the bad experiences can be a lesson.
In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones.

If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to who you open your heart.

If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love and opening your heart and eyes to things you would have never seen or felt without them.

Make every day count.

Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possible can, for you may never be able to experience it again.

Talk to people you have never talked to before, and actually listen, let yourself fall in love, break free and set your sights high.

Hold your head up because you have every right to do so.

Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you either.

You can make of your life anything you wish.

Create your own life and then go out and live it.