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Happy April Fool's Day!
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
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About April Fool's Day
Archie and the April Fools by B. J. Chute (This is a really cute story about two brothers, a giraffe, and April Fool's Day.)
All Fools' Day
April Pranks by Ilo Orleans
April Fool by Elizabeth Coatsworth
April Fool's Day Site Links
April Fool's Day
APRIL 1
Almost all countries have a day very much like our April Fool's Day, when dignity is discarded and everyone plays practical jokes. Americans do their fooling on April 1 because the early Scottish, English, and French settlers brought the custom with them.
Also known as All Fools' Day, the occasion provides pranksters of every description an opportunity to play a wide variety of jokes upon their friends and neighbors.
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Archie and the April Fools
By B. J. Chute
TED," said Jimmy Brewster, coming into the living room rather suddenly, "I hate to mention it, but there's a giraffe in the back yard."
His brother roused himself from the study of a photograph, gave Jimmy a puzzled look, then glanced at the calendar. A peaceful smile dawned upon his face. The calendar unquestionably proclaimed the fact that it was April first.
"Run away, my good man," said Ted. "I'm busy. You' know, Jimmy, there's definitely a light leak in our camera. We've certainly got to get a new one, as soon as we have enough money."
"We're going to get a projector," Jimmy reminded him, "and, while I hate to mention it again, there is a giraffe in our back yard."
"I know, I know. And there's a baby hippopotamus in the kitchen sink, too, but don't bother me with that now. Just put April Fool's Day out of your mind." Ted sighed. "What kind of camera do you think we should get?"
"Projector," said Jimmy, gazing thoughtfully out the window. "I take it all back. There isn't a giraffe in the back yard."
Ted said, "That's better. You can't catch me on those old April Fool gags."
"He isn't in the back yard," said Jimmy, "because now he's in the side yard."
Ted fixed his brother with a glittering eye. "Now look here, you poor cluck, enough's enough. Once is funny, but---" he broke off, his gaze drawn to the window by Jimmy's intent stare, and made a noise like a drowning suction pump.
"You see?" said Jimmy reproachfully.
Ted saw. He rushed to the window and peered out wildly.
Jimmy nodded in sympathy. He knew how Ted felt. But there was no getting away from it---the large spotted object in the Brewster peony bed was a giraffe.
"I hope," said Jimmy, with dignity, "that this will be a lesson to you to trust me. I was deeply hurt---"
"Stop babbling," Ted requested, recovering slightly. "What are we going to do about this---this monster?"
Jimmy gazed out at the giraffe, which had left the peony bed and was munching a convenient tree, its head out of sight and its long thin neck looking like a large spotted serpent. "I read a book once," said Jimmy.
"This is no time to discuss your literary exploits," his brother told him fiercely. "Great howling buttercups! We've got to do something."
"This book," said Jimmy, undiscouraged, "said that giraffes can run faster than most horses."
"Yoicks! We've got to catch him. He probably belongs to the zoo."
"Maybe it would be better just to leave him alone," said Jimmy. "The book also said they kick with their hind legs, and, while naturally gentle, are capable of making a stout resistance."
Ted, who had been about to leave the house and organize a giraffe hunt, stopped in his tracks. "Stout resistance, huh? Perhaps we'd better call the zoo first."
"You watch the giraffe, and I'll call 'em." Jimmy grabbed for the phone book. "Circle 2-0123. Hurry, operator.... Hello, hello. Look, this is Jimmy Brewster, out on the Pine Road. We've got a giraffe here . . . A GIRAFFE. One of those things from Africa with long necks.... I want your what? Your accounting department? I do not want your accounting department. I want---" He broke off suddenly. "Look, what number is this? . . . Oh . . Oh, I see. I'm sorry." He hung up, rather sadly. "That was the bank. They said I wanted their accounting department."
"Get going," Ted advised. "He's eating the lilac bush now."
"Circle 2-0123," Jimmy said again into the phone. "Ted, if you were a bank, would you refer a giraffe to your accounting department? . . . Hello. Is this the zoo? . . . Well, have you lost a giraffe? Yes. Yes? You have? . . . Well, it's here in our peony bed.
"Lilac," said Ted.
"Lilac bed," Jimmy corrected himself. "What do you want us to do?" There followed a brief, rather one-sided conversation, then Jimmy said, "Thank you. Yes, sure we will," and hung up. "What'd they say?"
"It belongs to the zoo all right. They're sending men out with a truck, and we're to keep the giraffe here until they come." He paused. "Ted, there's a twenty-five dollar reward for the thing. He said we'd get it, if we caught the giraffe."
"Zowie!" Ted shouted. "We can get that camera."
"Projector," said Jimmy automatically.
"Camera," said Ted. "All we have to do_" He stopped short. "Faster than a horse, huh? Suppose it runs away when it sees us? Maybe it's scared of people."
"Frankly," said Jimmy, "that would make it unanimous. I'm scared of it."
Ted waved his hand airily. "Don't be difficult. Look, you go and get the encyclopedia and see what it says about giraffes, while I watch the beast out the window."
Jimmy dashed off and returned with the required volume. Ted, who had been watching the giraffe anxiously, said, "One of the advantages of living in the country is there's plenty of giraffe food around. He's eating the ivy now. Mother and Dad won't be pleased."
"Well, if they were home," said Jimmy reasonably, "they could tell Archie so."
"Archie?"
"That's his name. The zoo man told me." He began to read. "The giraffe or camelopard--good night, is that what he is? A camelopard!"
"Go on," said Ted.
Jimmy went on. "Native of Africa--occurs generally in herds of from five to forty. Whoops! Not here, I hope. Feeds on leaves and small branches of trees. Yes, we'd guessed that. Seven vertebrae in neck. Hey! That's all I've got. It hardly seems fair. Look at the length of his neck compared to mine."
"If you don't get a move on," Ted warned him dangerously, "there won't be any Archie here to have a neck."
Jimmy read on hastily. "No vocal chords--well, anyway he can't answer back then . . . Generally seeks safety in flight. That's not so good . . . Large, clear eyes. Nice for Archie, but no use to us. Ah, here we are!"
"About time," said Ted bitterly.
"What I said about their kicking with their hind legs," said Jimmy, "is true. But it seems they only kick lions."
"What do you mean, they only kick lions?"
"Well, the lion is their natural enemy, so, when attacked by a lion, they kick it--naturally."
"Very sensible point of view," Ted approved heartily. "Well, you and I aren't lions, therefore Archie won't kick us. Elementary, my dear Watson. Let's go."
Jimmy looked unhappy.
"Twenty-five dollars reward," Ted reminded him, "means we can get that camera."
"Projector," said Jimmy.
"Camera," said Ted. "Come on."
His brother came.
They let themselves cautiously out the back door and, by creeping, managed to get within ten feet of their giraffe before it noticed them. At that point, however, Jimmy fell over the garden hose and into an empty pail, and, the clatter being considerable, Archie withdrew his narrow head from the tree top.
"Shush," said Ted, fiercely.
Jimmy removed himself from the pail with as much dignity as possible. "I couldn't help it. Some silly idiot left that hose across the path."
"You did," said Ted. "Last night."
The giraffe was regarding them in a benign and lofty manner. "The man said to be awfully careful with him," Jimmy said. "He cost thirty-five hundred dollars."
"That thing?" Ted regarded Archie with profound respect. "Well, I'll be hornswoggled! What's he got that I haven't got?"
"More neck," said Jimmy, "and spots with white edgings."
Ted treated this remark with the contempt it deserved. "This is going to be quite simple," he announced suddenly, in a competent manner. "He's perfectly friendly." He stretched out one hand placatingly and began to advance, a step at a time. "Here, Archie, Archie. Nice Archie . . . Ooops!"
Archie gave him one look, shied violently, wheeled and departed around the corner of the house, his sloping body rolling in a ridiculous amble. "Now, look what you've done," said Jimmy. "There goes our projector."
"Camera," said Ted. "Come on. We've got to catch him."
They rushed in pursuit, and, rounding the house, stopped short. "There he is!" Jimmy panted, pointing. "He's stopped. Hey! Ought he to do that?" The giraffe had sighted a yellow crocus in the grass, and it had evidently roused in him a desire for dessert. Accordingly, he had spread his thin forelegs out at an impossible angle and was lowering his head earthwards, in a way that looked extremely perilous.
"He doesn't look safe to me," said Ted. "Besides, for all we know, crocuses aren't good for giraffes. Do they have crocuses in Africa ?"
"I don't know," said Jimmy, "but I'll go and get the encyclopedia, while you figure out a way to---"
"Oh, no, you don't," Ted said firmly, grabbing his brother and hauling him back. "I've already figured out a way. How soon do they expect to get here from the zoo?"
"Dunno,' Jimmy admitted regretfully. "It's quite a ways, I and they may not find our place right off, although I gave 'em directions. Why?"
"If that giraffe leaves," said Ted, "our new camera leaves."
"Projector," said Jimmy.
Ted ignored him. "And the chances are that Archie isn't going to hang around just to oblige us. So my idea is to get him into our barn. It's got a good high roof, and---"
"May I ask just one simple little question?" said Jimmy. "How are you going to get him into the barn? You can't lead him, you know. He's all neck and legs---there's nothing to hang onto."
Ted said dramatically, "Look at his tail!" Jimmy looked. It was a goodish tail---not beautiful, perhaps, but certainly utilitarian---with a tuft on the end. It would be a most satisfactory tail to hang onto. "Well?" said Ted.
"I can think of two objections," Jimmy said. "One is, do you think you can pull a giraffe around backwards? Because, if so, I'm going to leave the whole thing to you, and you can have the projector all to yourself. I have my life to live."
"It's going to be a camera," Ted said firmly, "and we don't pull him, you goof. We urge him forward gently. The tail is just for emergencies' in case he starts to run.'
"Oh," said Jimmy. "Well, the other objection is the location of his tail."
"It's in the usual place, I believe," Ted said stiffly.
"Well, naturally, but the usual place is so awfully near his heels." Jimmy looked mournful and quoted, "They kick with their hind legs and are capable of making a stout resistance."
"So what?" said Ted. "Archie won't attack anything but a lion. You read that yourself from the encyclopedia. We aren't lions, are we?"
There was a short pause. "I see what you mean," said Jimmy. "Are we men or are we lions?" There was another short pause. "Personally, I'm a mouse. You do it, Ted. You're more the executive type. I'll watch."
"You will not," Ted told him. "It's perfectly simple. I'll go in front and urge him on with some grass, and you go behind and hang onto his tail."
"Me?" Jimmy croaked. "Hang onto his tail?"
"Certainly. You just said I was the executive type, didn't you? Well, the executive type always leads. Come on, Jimmy." Ted gave him a shove from behind, and Jimmy staggered mournfully toward Archie's tail, stared at it for a moment, took a deep breath, and grabbed.
Things after that happened very quickly.
Archie's left hind leg kicked out at a fantastic angle and landed a powerful and accurate wallop. Jimmy described a parabola in the air, rolled over twice on the grass, got to his feet, and started running.
Ted joined him.
Archie galloped in enthusiastic pursuit.
His two would-be captors shot up into the branches of the nearest apple tree, and Archie came to a disappointed halt. Jimmy and Ted climbed upward as far as they could and came to rest near an abandoned bird's nest.
They looked at each other.
"Kicks only lions," said Jimmy bitterly. "The executive type---bah!"
"You read the book yourself," Ted accused and looked down thoughtfully at Archie's head, weaving around among the branches. The tree was not tall, and Archie was. After a moment, Ted broke off some juicy-looking leaves and handed them down to Archie, who accepted them courteously. Ted broke off some more.
Jimmy got the idea and began to help. "If we can only keep him here until the zoo men come---"
"I hope the tree lasts out," said Ted. "Sit down, Jimmy. You're rocking the boat."
"Thank you," said his brother with dignity. "I'm more comfortable standing up."
Ted said, "Oh," with polite sympathy, and Jimmy added, "In case you want to know, being kicked by an even-toed ungulate is the same as being kicked by anything else, only rougher."
"By a what?"
"An even-toed ungulate. That's what that thing down there is. And, personally, I wish he'd go off and ungulate somewhere else."
"Think of the camera," Ted urged.
"I am thinking," said Jimmy, "of the projector." He added broodingly, "So he wouldn't kick me, huh? He wouldn't kick me because I didn't have a mane. Phooey." He then said, "Whoops!" and nearly fell out of the tree.
A large, purposeful-looking truck had just turned into the driveway. "The zoo men!" Ted shouted. "The marines have landed. Jimmy, we're saved." He hesitated, and added, "I wish we weren't up here, though. It doesn't look so good. They might almost think Archie caught us."
"If they give that giraffe the reward," said Jimmy, "I shall blow a fuse."
"Hey!" said a voice. A stout man in blue overalls was peering up at them, one arm wound affectionately around Archie's neck. "What you doing up there?"
Jimmy said, "We've caught the giraffe for you," and there was a hearty burst of laughter in response.
"Look who's caught who, will you?" said the stout man. "A nice, tame, little fellow like Archie, too!"
"Tame!" said Ted under his breath, and then addressed the stout man quite coolly. "We couldn't find much for him to eat, and we thought feeding him was the best way to keep him here." He paused impressively. "We're up in this tree where we can get more leaves."
The stout man was silenced in his turn, and Jimmy and Ted descended with admirable dignity. "Well," the man admitted finally, "that was pretty smart. Yessir, that was real bright. We're much obliged. I'll see you get that reward all right."
Indoors, Jimmy glared at the encyclopedia. "Only lions," he muttered.
"We can get our camera," Ted offered consolingly.
"PROJECTOR!" Jimmy howled.
"M'mmmm," said Ted, "I'll tell you what. We'll compromise. Next time we'll buy a projector. This time we'll buy a camera. Now run along and get some cookies, there's a pal. All that brain work has made me hungry."
Jimmy gazed upon his brother in mingled awe and fury, said "Compromise!" in a strangled voice, then departed suddenly. He came back, a moment later, both hands full of cookies and a strange glitter in his eyes.
"Ted," he said, "I hate to mention it. But there's a rhinocerous in the back yard."
Ted let out a wild scream and dashed into the kitchen. A moment later, Jimmy heard the back door slam. A gentle smile dawned on his face.
"Ah, well," he murmured, "we can't all be the executive type." He looked affectionately at the calendar, which still proclaimed unmistakably that it was April Fool's Day, smiled again, and began to eat his cookies. He felt much better.
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TED," said Jimmy Brewster, coming into the living room rather suddenly, "I hate to mention it, but there's a giraffe in the back yard."
His brother roused himself from the study of a photograph, gave Jimmy a puzzled look, then glanced at the calendar. A peaceful smile dawned upon his face. The calendar unquestionably proclaimed the fact that it was April first.
"Run away, my good man," said Ted. "I'm busy. You' know, Jimmy, there's definitely a light leak in our camera. We've certainly got to get a new one, as soon as we have enough money."
"We're going to get a projector," Jimmy reminded him, "and, while I hate to mention it again, there is a giraffe in our back yard."
"I know, I know. And there's a baby hippopotamus in the kitchen sink, too, but don't bother me with that now. Just put April Fool's Day out of your mind." Ted sighed. "What kind of camera do you think we should get?"
"Projector," said Jimmy, gazing thoughtfully out the window. "I take it all back. There isn't a giraffe in the back yard."
Ted said, "That's better. You can't catch me on those old April Fool gags."
"He isn't in the back yard," said Jimmy, "because now he's in the side yard."
Ted fixed his brother with a glittering eye. "Now look here, you poor cluck, enough's enough. Once is funny, but---" he broke off, his gaze drawn to the window by Jimmy's intent stare, and made a noise like a drowning suction pump.
"You see?" said Jimmy reproachfully.
Ted saw. He rushed to the window and peered out wildly.
Jimmy nodded in sympathy. He knew how Ted felt. But there was no getting away from it---the large spotted object in the Brewster peony bed was a giraffe.
"I hope," said Jimmy, with dignity, "that this will be a lesson to you to trust me. I was deeply hurt---"
"Stop babbling," Ted requested, recovering slightly. "What are we going to do about this---this monster?"
Jimmy gazed out at the giraffe, which had left the peony bed and was munching a convenient tree, its head out of sight and its long thin neck looking like a large spotted serpent. "I read a book once," said Jimmy.
"This is no time to discuss your literary exploits," his brother told him fiercely. "Great howling buttercups! We've got to do something."
"This book," said Jimmy, undiscouraged, "said that giraffes can run faster than most horses."
"Yoicks! We've got to catch him. He probably belongs to the zoo."
"Maybe it would be better just to leave him alone," said Jimmy. "The book also said they kick with their hind legs, and, while naturally gentle, are capable of making a stout resistance."
Ted, who had been about to leave the house and organize a giraffe hunt, stopped in his tracks. "Stout resistance, huh? Perhaps we'd better call the zoo first."
"You watch the giraffe, and I'll call 'em." Jimmy grabbed for the phone book. "Circle 2-0123. Hurry, operator.... Hello, hello. Look, this is Jimmy Brewster, out on the Pine Road. We've got a giraffe here . . . A GIRAFFE. One of those things from Africa with long necks.... I want your what? Your accounting department? I do not want your accounting department. I want---" He broke off suddenly. "Look, what number is this? . . . Oh . . Oh, I see. I'm sorry." He hung up, rather sadly. "That was the bank. They said I wanted their accounting department."
"Get going," Ted advised. "He's eating the lilac bush now."
"Circle 2-0123," Jimmy said again into the phone. "Ted, if you were a bank, would you refer a giraffe to your accounting department? . . . Hello. Is this the zoo? . . . Well, have you lost a giraffe? Yes. Yes? You have? . . . Well, it's here in our peony bed.
"Lilac," said Ted.
"Lilac bed," Jimmy corrected himself. "What do you want us to do?" There followed a brief, rather one-sided conversation, then Jimmy said, "Thank you. Yes, sure we will," and hung up. "What'd they say?"
"It belongs to the zoo all right. They're sending men out with a truck, and we're to keep the giraffe here until they come." He paused. "Ted, there's a twenty-five dollar reward for the thing. He said we'd get it, if we caught the giraffe."
"Zowie!" Ted shouted. "We can get that camera."
"Projector," said Jimmy automatically.
"Camera," said Ted. "All we have to do_" He stopped short. "Faster than a horse, huh? Suppose it runs away when it sees us? Maybe it's scared of people."
"Frankly," said Jimmy, "that would make it unanimous. I'm scared of it."
Ted waved his hand airily. "Don't be difficult. Look, you go and get the encyclopedia and see what it says about giraffes, while I watch the beast out the window."
Jimmy dashed off and returned with the required volume. Ted, who had been watching the giraffe anxiously, said, "One of the advantages of living in the country is there's plenty of giraffe food around. He's eating the ivy now. Mother and Dad won't be pleased."
"Well, if they were home," said Jimmy reasonably, "they could tell Archie so."
"Archie?"
"That's his name. The zoo man told me." He began to read. "The giraffe or camelopard--good night, is that what he is? A camelopard!"
"Go on," said Ted.
Jimmy went on. "Native of Africa--occurs generally in herds of from five to forty. Whoops! Not here, I hope. Feeds on leaves and small branches of trees. Yes, we'd guessed that. Seven vertebrae in neck. Hey! That's all I've got. It hardly seems fair. Look at the length of his neck compared to mine."
"If you don't get a move on," Ted warned him dangerously, "there won't be any Archie here to have a neck."
Jimmy read on hastily. "No vocal chords--well, anyway he can't answer back then . . . Generally seeks safety in flight. That's not so good . . . Large, clear eyes. Nice for Archie, but no use to us. Ah, here we are!"
"About time," said Ted bitterly.
"What I said about their kicking with their hind legs," said Jimmy, "is true. But it seems they only kick lions."
"What do you mean, they only kick lions?"
"Well, the lion is their natural enemy, so, when attacked by a lion, they kick it--naturally."
"Very sensible point of view," Ted approved heartily. "Well, you and I aren't lions, therefore Archie won't kick us. Elementary, my dear Watson. Let's go."
Jimmy looked unhappy.
"Twenty-five dollars reward," Ted reminded him, "means we can get that camera."
"Projector," said Jimmy.
"Camera," said Ted. "Come on."
His brother came.
They let themselves cautiously out the back door and, by creeping, managed to get within ten feet of their giraffe before it noticed them. At that point, however, Jimmy fell over the garden hose and into an empty pail, and, the clatter being considerable, Archie withdrew his narrow head from the tree top.
"Shush," said Ted, fiercely.
Jimmy removed himself from the pail with as much dignity as possible. "I couldn't help it. Some silly idiot left that hose across the path."
"You did," said Ted. "Last night."
The giraffe was regarding them in a benign and lofty manner. "The man said to be awfully careful with him," Jimmy said. "He cost thirty-five hundred dollars."
"That thing?" Ted regarded Archie with profound respect. "Well, I'll be hornswoggled! What's he got that I haven't got?"
"More neck," said Jimmy, "and spots with white edgings."
Ted treated this remark with the contempt it deserved. "This is going to be quite simple," he announced suddenly, in a competent manner. "He's perfectly friendly." He stretched out one hand placatingly and began to advance, a step at a time. "Here, Archie, Archie. Nice Archie . . . Ooops!"
Archie gave him one look, shied violently, wheeled and departed around the corner of the house, his sloping body rolling in a ridiculous amble. "Now, look what you've done," said Jimmy. "There goes our projector."
"Camera," said Ted. "Come on. We've got to catch him."
They rushed in pursuit, and, rounding the house, stopped short. "There he is!" Jimmy panted, pointing. "He's stopped. Hey! Ought he to do that?" The giraffe had sighted a yellow crocus in the grass, and it had evidently roused in him a desire for dessert. Accordingly, he had spread his thin forelegs out at an impossible angle and was lowering his head earthwards, in a way that looked extremely perilous.
"He doesn't look safe to me," said Ted. "Besides, for all we know, crocuses aren't good for giraffes. Do they have crocuses in Africa ?"
"I don't know," said Jimmy, "but I'll go and get the encyclopedia, while you figure out a way to---"
"Oh, no, you don't," Ted said firmly, grabbing his brother and hauling him back. "I've already figured out a way. How soon do they expect to get here from the zoo?"
"Dunno,' Jimmy admitted regretfully. "It's quite a ways, I and they may not find our place right off, although I gave 'em directions. Why?"
"If that giraffe leaves," said Ted, "our new camera leaves."
"Projector," said Jimmy.
Ted ignored him. "And the chances are that Archie isn't going to hang around just to oblige us. So my idea is to get him into our barn. It's got a good high roof, and---"
"May I ask just one simple little question?" said Jimmy. "How are you going to get him into the barn? You can't lead him, you know. He's all neck and legs---there's nothing to hang onto."
Ted said dramatically, "Look at his tail!" Jimmy looked. It was a goodish tail---not beautiful, perhaps, but certainly utilitarian---with a tuft on the end. It would be a most satisfactory tail to hang onto. "Well?" said Ted.
"I can think of two objections," Jimmy said. "One is, do you think you can pull a giraffe around backwards? Because, if so, I'm going to leave the whole thing to you, and you can have the projector all to yourself. I have my life to live."
"It's going to be a camera," Ted said firmly, "and we don't pull him, you goof. We urge him forward gently. The tail is just for emergencies' in case he starts to run.'
"Oh," said Jimmy. "Well, the other objection is the location of his tail."
"It's in the usual place, I believe," Ted said stiffly.
"Well, naturally, but the usual place is so awfully near his heels." Jimmy looked mournful and quoted, "They kick with their hind legs and are capable of making a stout resistance."
"So what?" said Ted. "Archie won't attack anything but a lion. You read that yourself from the encyclopedia. We aren't lions, are we?"
There was a short pause. "I see what you mean," said Jimmy. "Are we men or are we lions?" There was another short pause. "Personally, I'm a mouse. You do it, Ted. You're more the executive type. I'll watch."
"You will not," Ted told him. "It's perfectly simple. I'll go in front and urge him on with some grass, and you go behind and hang onto his tail."
"Me?" Jimmy croaked. "Hang onto his tail?"
"Certainly. You just said I was the executive type, didn't you? Well, the executive type always leads. Come on, Jimmy." Ted gave him a shove from behind, and Jimmy staggered mournfully toward Archie's tail, stared at it for a moment, took a deep breath, and grabbed.
Things after that happened very quickly.
Archie's left hind leg kicked out at a fantastic angle and landed a powerful and accurate wallop. Jimmy described a parabola in the air, rolled over twice on the grass, got to his feet, and started running.
Ted joined him.
Archie galloped in enthusiastic pursuit.
His two would-be captors shot up into the branches of the nearest apple tree, and Archie came to a disappointed halt. Jimmy and Ted climbed upward as far as they could and came to rest near an abandoned bird's nest.
They looked at each other.
"Kicks only lions," said Jimmy bitterly. "The executive type---bah!"
"You read the book yourself," Ted accused and looked down thoughtfully at Archie's head, weaving around among the branches. The tree was not tall, and Archie was. After a moment, Ted broke off some juicy-looking leaves and handed them down to Archie, who accepted them courteously. Ted broke off some more.
Jimmy got the idea and began to help. "If we can only keep him here until the zoo men come---"
"I hope the tree lasts out," said Ted. "Sit down, Jimmy. You're rocking the boat."
"Thank you," said his brother with dignity. "I'm more comfortable standing up."
Ted said, "Oh," with polite sympathy, and Jimmy added, "In case you want to know, being kicked by an even-toed ungulate is the same as being kicked by anything else, only rougher."
"By a what?"
"An even-toed ungulate. That's what that thing down there is. And, personally, I wish he'd go off and ungulate somewhere else."
"Think of the camera," Ted urged.
"I am thinking," said Jimmy, "of the projector." He added broodingly, "So he wouldn't kick me, huh? He wouldn't kick me because I didn't have a mane. Phooey." He then said, "Whoops!" and nearly fell out of the tree.
A large, purposeful-looking truck had just turned into the driveway. "The zoo men!" Ted shouted. "The marines have landed. Jimmy, we're saved." He hesitated, and added, "I wish we weren't up here, though. It doesn't look so good. They might almost think Archie caught us."
"If they give that giraffe the reward," said Jimmy, "I shall blow a fuse."
"Hey!" said a voice. A stout man in blue overalls was peering up at them, one arm wound affectionately around Archie's neck. "What you doing up there?"
Jimmy said, "We've caught the giraffe for you," and there was a hearty burst of laughter in response.
"Look who's caught who, will you?" said the stout man. "A nice, tame, little fellow like Archie, too!"
"Tame!" said Ted under his breath, and then addressed the stout man quite coolly. "We couldn't find much for him to eat, and we thought feeding him was the best way to keep him here." He paused impressively. "We're up in this tree where we can get more leaves."
The stout man was silenced in his turn, and Jimmy and Ted descended with admirable dignity. "Well," the man admitted finally, "that was pretty smart. Yessir, that was real bright. We're much obliged. I'll see you get that reward all right."
Indoors, Jimmy glared at the encyclopedia. "Only lions," he muttered.
"We can get our camera," Ted offered consolingly.
"PROJECTOR!" Jimmy howled.
"M'mmmm," said Ted, "I'll tell you what. We'll compromise. Next time we'll buy a projector. This time we'll buy a camera. Now run along and get some cookies, there's a pal. All that brain work has made me hungry."
Jimmy gazed upon his brother in mingled awe and fury, said "Compromise!" in a strangled voice, then departed suddenly. He came back, a moment later, both hands full of cookies and a strange glitter in his eyes.
"Ted," he said, "I hate to mention it. But there's a rhinocerous in the back yard."
Ted let out a wild scream and dashed into the kitchen. A moment later, Jimmy heard the back door slam. A gentle smile dawned on his face.
"Ah, well," he murmured, "we can't all be the executive type." He looked affectionately at the calendar, which still proclaimed unmistakably that it was April Fool's Day, smiled again, and began to eat his cookies. He felt much better.
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All Fools' Day
Anonymous
The First of April, some do say
Is set apart for All Fools' Day;
But why the people call it so
Nor I, nor they themselves, do know.
But on this day are people sent
On purpose for pure merriment.
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The First of April, some do say
Is set apart for All Fools' Day;
But why the people call it so
Nor I, nor they themselves, do know.
But on this day are people sent
On purpose for pure merriment.
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April Pranks
By Ilo Orleans
A poodle ate
A doughnut,
And turned into a wheel.
A zebra said:
"Good morning!"
To a pretty diving seal.
A monkey found
Two drumsticks,
And drummed upon the moon
A cat sat down
To a banquet
With a fork and knife and spoon
A bull bowed on
A fiddle,
On top of a hemlock tree.
Grandpa drank
A poem;
And he wrote a cup of tea.
A goat, a pig,
A rooster---
Went marching off to school.
I am a queen
On a golden throne!
What fun! It's APRIL FOOL!
Return to Table of Contents
A poodle ate
A doughnut,
And turned into a wheel.
A zebra said:
"Good morning!"
To a pretty diving seal.
A monkey foundTwo drumsticks,
And drummed upon the moon
A cat sat down
To a banquet
With a fork and knife and spoon
A bull bowed on
A fiddle,
On top of a hemlock tree.
Grandpa drank
A poem;
And he wrote a cup of tea.
A goat, a pig,
A rooster---
Went marching off to school.
I am a queen
On a golden throne!
What fun! It's APRIL FOOL!
Return to Table of Contents
By Elizabeth Coatsworth
"I saw an elephant walking down the road.
He had a book and was going to school.
He carried a satchel to hold his lunch---
APRIL FOOL!
"I saw your grandmother and your aunt
Fishing for suckers in the mill-stream pool.
They'd caught a dozen and maybe more---
APRIL FOOL!
"Mercy! whoever has mended your skirt?
The needle's still there
and the thread and the spool.
Didn't you feel them there at the hem?
APRIL FOOL!
Return to Table of Contents
"I saw an elephant walking down the road.He had a book and was going to school.
He carried a satchel to hold his lunch---
APRIL FOOL!
"I saw your grandmother and your auntFishing for suckers in the mill-stream pool.
They'd caught a dozen and maybe more---
APRIL FOOL!
"Mercy! whoever has mended your skirt?
The needle's still there
and the thread and the spool.
Didn't you feel them there at the hem?
APRIL FOOL!
Return to Table of Contents
History of April Fool's Day (Here are what folks say about the Origins of April Fools Day: From Michael A. Nagurney.)
The AFU and Urban Legend Archive (Miscellaneous April fools day origins.)
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The AFU and Urban Legend Archive (Miscellaneous April fools day origins.)Return to Table of Contents
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© 1998 - 2008 by Maggie Stewart-Zimmerman
May the trail rise to meet you.
May the Sun shine always at your back and
may the Creator hold you in the hollow of His hand.
You are the
6413
visitor to this page since the counter
was reset on 6/25/99 when count was
6104 since December 20, 1997.
Check back often!
This page was last updated
Monday, 21-Jan-2008 00:04:28 MST