Claudie & Glenn McClure Marty (brother Claudie’s son) visited us (Charles McClure and family) in Little Rock when he was about three and a half years old. He came within a dogs hair of being struck by a car when he ran across the street behind Steve, directly in the path of an on coming car. He was such a small little tow-head that I’m sure the driver is still shaking in his boots. After returning home with Ilene Lancaster, he told his mother he didn’t have any fun at Aunt Barb’s and Uncle Charles’ because Uncle Charles made him a member of the “clean plate club.” (for some unknown reason to me, all of my nieces and nephews complained of this) Aunt Pat patted his little shoulder and asked him if he had good manners. He said, “No, we didn’t have any of them!” Steve received a monorail one Christmas when Mom and Pop Mc Allan, Glenn, Claudie and their families were visiting us in Little Rock. I wanted to wait until we had more time to string the metal cable from one of the many scrub oak trees that we had in our back yard to another. But Glenn was more excited about the toys than the kids were so he and Claudie attached the cable and the monorail to it, without tightening the bolts tight enough. So on Steve's trial run the whole kit and kaboodle came tumbling down, with Steve's teeth at ground "Zero" chipping a good portion of his two upper front teeth. After Mom had assessed the damage she said, “Aw hell, his front teeth were too long anyway!” On another outing to the King of Club’s, Jamie, Glenn, Donna Jean (Merle Chaney’s ex) Ted Fuller, Ruby and Bill Batson may have been with us and Barb and myself. We were having a fun time until Ted got a little carried away and started stirring his drink with the heel of Donna’s shoe and drinking from it. We knew it was time to go when he started eye balling Donna Jean’s big toe. Glenn was also the businessman of us boys managing a number of loan offices in several states during a good portion of his adult life. He also worked at aircraft plants in two states. His nickname was "Gold Fingers" when he managed a number of offices in the Bluff. His slogan was something like, “When you need a loan, don't go to a stranger, come see Gold Finger the Lone Arranger!” He even worked for Joe Hefner for a short time in Qulin during 1955. Glenn, Jamie, Glenda Kay and Jerry lived in Memphis a number of times over a span of many years. Jamie, Glenn and I worked at Sears in Memphis at one time (Jamie and I made 75 cents an hour and Glenn made 80 cents in 1948 Mrs. Presley (Elvis’s mother) went to the hospital with Jamie when she had Glenda Kay. (Jerry was also born in Memphis) They had enough money for a taxi fare to the hospital but Mrs. Presley had to walk the short distance home. She didn't have enough money for the return trip. This was several years before Elvis cut his first record. He was still wearing bib overalls and one of his cornball saying was, “Good as corn and better’n taters!” This reminds me of the song Elvis used to sing on the stoop of the apartment building Jamie, Glenn, the kids and the Presleys’ lived in at 185 Winchester Avenue in Memphis. The title was, “Why don’t you mind you own business.” It went something like “The lady on my party-line is the nosiest thing. She picks up the phone when she knows that it’s my ring. So why don’t you mind your own business and then you won’t be minding mine.” Glenn and I tried to persuade Elvis to audition for the Horace Height Amateur Hour in 1948 or 49 but he was too shy and wasn’t sure he sang well enough at this time. To me his talent was superior to any of the contestants that performed at the auditorium on the night of the show. As we well know, dragging his feet at this time certainly didn’t harm his career any. He and Claudie use to swim in one of the city pools. One day they were short of funds, (admission fee was ten cents) so Claudie created some sort of a diversion that enabled them to sneak in. On another outing they were confronted in an alley by a gang. Claudie said they could have handled two or three of them but knew they could only whip so many. Fortunately they were able to jump a couple of fences and out ran them. Glenn and Claudie attended the dog races (you might say they went to the dogs) in West Memphis many times each year and horse races less frequently at Cahokia, Illinois. On one occasion Glenn made a big killing and asked Claudie to stay close to him on the way to the car when they were leaving the track. There were a lot of blacks and Glenn was afraid they might try to roll him. Claudie asked him to let him hold the money and he would take care of it. Glenn side-stepped, gave Claudie a stern look and said, “Aw hell Claudie, I would rather trust the blacks!” Claudie shook his head, as if to say, “It’s like a horse race, you win some and you lose some!” Glenn and Jamie were active in the J.C.'s (Junior Chamber of Commerce) for many years while living in Poplar Bluff. Jamie held an office each year and Glenn was president in 1960 when Michael Landon was the Grand Marshal of the annual J.C. Rodeo in Poplar Bluff. They attended most of the district meetings and the national in St. Louis. Glenn became interested in politics during the last decade of his life. He was city councilman or alderman for a term or two and was grooming himself for State Representative at the time of his death. Glenn had a wonderful way with people. He could call a female or kid hon or even darlin and they knew that he was sincere, whereas, most men would sound like an idiot, if they used the same terms of endearment. He enjoyed people and loved to hug and press the flesh. Glenn would have been a good state representative, maybe not perfect, but he would have had their best interest at heart and they would have loved him. His speech was very expressive, earthy and he was comfortable in any social setting. He was as smooth as polished silk and truly a people's person. Handsome too! Glenn died of a heart attack in front of the loan office he was managing in the Bluff. He and Jamie had been to a party where he had done a lot of dancing, to include some very vigorous polkas. Jamie had a difficult time moving him to the passengers side of the car when he had his attack, so that she could drive him to the Lucy Lee Hospital which was only three blocks away. She had been a LPN for many years so she knew that he was essentially dead from the coloration of his face and would never survive even before she arrived at the emergency room entrance. She was unable to get any of the staff members there to react to the emergency situation even though he was already dead but they didn't know that. Claudie operated the liquor store after Pop's death and had a tavern built next to the liquor store. It was named "Claudie's Town and Country Tavern". On band night he would go on stage to make announcements and tell a dirty joke or two. They loved it! He owned this business for five or six years, before selling it to three sisters. Thus, the "Three Sisters Tavern", or “Six Tits in a Row” as the more uncouth men called it. It has more recently been the American Legion Post. Claudie, Pat and Marty continued to live in the red house, which was the only one in town, if not the whole county. Most of the houses were originally basic white if painted at all and many of them were just a memory of paint which had flaked off years before. So it's understandable why it was referred to as the “Red House.” He later converted the old Batson grocery store into "Smilin Claudie's Danceland", about a mile north of town on highway 53. Unfortunately there was very little interest in this new club, so it soon folded. It was a very nice club that Claudie had invested a lot of energy and money in. The club was perhaps a little too classy for this area. Claudie was his own bouncer. So you can imagine how often he had to show some of the tie cutter and thugs (one of Pop's favorite names) to the door. He always kept a sap and tear gas gun behind the bar. On one occasion he was having a heated debate with three men from Greenville Missouri because there was standing room only. Two of the men took (sat in) the chairs of a couple who got up to dance. When they stood up to ask Claudie who was going to make them give up their chairs. Claudie asked Jackie Piatt, his bar- tender (he was a reliable bartender and he didn’t have to worry about him knocking down, stealing money) to pass him the blackjack. He then stood on a chair and cold-cocked the two who had been seated and shot the third one in the face with the tear gas gun. The three rowdies soon found themselves in the ditch in front of the tavern before they realized what had hit them. In fact one of the men thought that he had been hit by a Big Mack truck, another wanted to know where he was and the third said, "This place is a real tear-jerker". Another time he had to evict six men. Four of them left without too much discussion, but unfortunately two of them stayed to debate the issue with Claudie. That was their second mistake, because Claudie decked them with a left to one and a right to the other one. The two picked themselves up and left for reinforcements. Fortunately the town constable was in the tavern when they returned so when the six re-entered he turned sideways so that they could see his sidearm and he told them that the best thing that you can do is hit the road. Claudie wasn't afraid of the devil, himself but he became a little edgy when a customer he had rapped with the sap (blackjack) didn't come to until seven the next morning. Some of the locals were in a corner taking bets on whether he would make it or not. The odds were that he wouldn't. Claudie didn't call a doctor because he didn't want the police involved. He just sweated it out. Claudie said that it made for a hell of a long night. He said his worst challenge was the time that seven of the locals who were friends and regular customers had to be tossed out because they were going at each other tooth and nail. He was finally able to shove them all outside without using the blackjack or tear gas gun. And you thought Mace was something new, Claudie was very progressive. They continued to physically abuse each other. He told me it was a regular donnybrook. Newt who was as big as a barn door was knocked out twice (he didn't have enough sense to play Possum). Shorty bit any part of body that he came in contact with, a childhood habit that he never outgrew. He bit a plug out of a leg that happened to come too close to his mouth. Claudie said that he had been to a hog callin, tent revival, cock-fight, turkey shoot, barn raising, a picnic or two, a river baptism, sat up with the dead, a goat race, a couple trips to the east side (red light district) of Poplar Bluff and he had even seen Treatus sober, once! But this ruckus beat anything that he had ever seen. When I asked him what started the fight he said, “A piece of fuzz.” (a female) Aunt Pat said that the funniest incident of Uncle Claudie's she could recall was when he and a friend stopped for a traffic light in Odessa, Texas and Claudie asked his buddy, "Why don't you get out and whip that Blacks a--?” Who was waiting for the light to change and then added, “If you can't do it I will.” His buddy’s feet had no more hit the pavement before the black decked him three times before he could catch his breath. It only took Claudie a heart beat to know that he didn't want any part of a black who fought like a pit bull and was twice as ugly. So when his friend opened the car door and told Claudie he couldn't whip him (he never touched the guy once) that he would have to. Claudie told him to get in the car that he had whipped him already. (his friend or perhaps his ex-friend never spoke to him again after Claudie took him to his house to recover) Claudie returned home after about six weeks in Texas, with his few pieces of clothes in a cardboard apple box, with a belt around it. He was out of money and he had lost his Cadillac in a card game. So he had to hitch-hike home. Claudie knew that Pop did his banking the first thing on Monday mornings, so he was leaning against the front of the bank on Main Street in Poplar Bluff with the apple crate at his feet, when Pop approached the bank. He looked at the apple crate and the first words that Pop uttered were, “Claudie, where's your Cadillac?” Claudie said, “I hate to tell you this Pop, but I lost it in a card game. Pop said, “Don't tell me that Claudie, you know that I don't feel good.” Claudie said that he had heard Pop say this a thousand times. Many years before Claudie and cousin Merle Chaney co-owned the Triangle Bar in Poplar Bluff. This venture also failed, partially because Merle would not help with the operation of the business and he also dipped into the till every time he came into the club. Claudie said, "He was a hard dog to keep under the porch”. He also owned a private (membership required) “Smiling Claudie’s Somewhere Club”, 7 miles northwest of McDougal Arkansas, in the mid-sixties. The membership card stated that the management was not responsible for accidents (that would have scared the hell out of me) and that if a member had to be called down more than twice, they would be dismissed from the club. Knowing Claudie, I wouldn't have wanted to have been on the receiving end of that dismissal! I'm surprised that there wasn't something about checking your weapon at the door. He also worked at the cotton gin at home and drove an eighteen-wheeler for a time in Texas. Claudie followed the cherry harvest one year and enjoyed it so much that he stayed on with the farmer and his wife for an additional two months. He also followed the wheat harvest one year. Aunt Pat said that he couldn't brag about what he did in California. We will let you judge, if it's noteworthy. Now here’s the story. Claudie and his brother-in-law Jim went to a tavern (Do-Drop-In) and Claudie hocked his white loafers (Aunt Pat said that the name of the shoes fit Claudie to a "t") for five dollars. The owner placed them on a shelf behind the bar. After running his winnings up to over a hundred dollar shooting pool he bet a man that he would broad-jump further flat-footed than he could. The man said that he had a hundred dollars that said he couldn't. Claudie won that bet and then bet him another hundred that he could beat him in a foot race from one telephone pole to another. The man again accepted the wager only to lose a second time. Claudie then started shooting pool in earnest and ran his winnings up to over seven hundred dollars. He was even out-shooting the local pool shark when he scratched on the eight ball and the pool hustler still had five balls left on the table. This final game was for seven hundred dollars. So he retrieved his white loafers and he and Jim, who cried like a baby, left with thirty or forty dollars each in their pockets and a full day of "fun and games". The owner was so impressed with Claudie or Missouri (this was his nickname while in California) that he gave him the keys to the joint and the combination to the safe and Claudie worked at the bar for a couple of months. The Do-Drop-In was a rough place till Claudie became the manager. Some of the customers would throw their beer bottles against the walls after they had finished their brew. Claudie quickly put a stop to this practice. One burly customer came into the bar without a shirt and shoes and put his feet in another chair after sitting down. Claudie told him to take his feet out of the chair and that he would have to put a shirt on if he wanted to be served in this tavern. The man pushed away from the table and asked him who was going to make him wear a shirt. Claudie vaulted the bar and got in the mans face and said, “Your talking to an old boy from Missouri who will flat lay one on that funky ass of yours and if you come in here again like this, your sorry butt is dog meat!” Claudie had his full growth at this time and wasn't afraid of lightening. He only had to throw one person bodily out of the bar. He was hell on wheels, could really kick ass and take names when he got his "Irish-up". On another outing with Jim, they were down to their last dime and ran out of gas. Claudie suggested that they enlarge a hole close to the highway and bill Jim as the "Wild Man". Which Claudie said wasn't too far from the truth with his several days growth of beard. So they asked the gas station owner if they could borrow a shovel. He told them they could for two dollars. They agreed if he was willing to wait for a short period of time. They dug the hole deeper and printed a sign that said, "Stop and see the Wild Man *** 50 cents.” They were doing a great business, when Jim yelled up to Claudie that he had to use the bathroom. (that wasn't exactly the way he phrased it) Claudie refused to pull him up because the longer he stayed in the hole and the more pressing the urge to use the bathroom the madder and wilder Jim looked and acted. Claudie said he had to laugh at the new dance step that Jim was doing down in the hole. Claudie would tell him to stay a little longer because another car was stopping (there wasn't a car in sight) with four kids in it. This continued until they made about twenty-five dollars. When Claudie pulled Jim up with the shovel he almost broke his neck rushing to the bathroom. You guessed it, number two was calling! They returned the shovel, gassed up and hit the road to brother Harold's for some home made chili and a cool one. He also picked fruit and helped build house trailers for a time. After about six months, he called Chick Clark (Jamie's brother) and borrowed $100.00 so that they could return home. They stopped in Little Rock to visit us and Mom and Pop Mc Allan were there. Jim was having trouble with his back. When he told Mom that he had seven kids she said, “Well hell, it's no wonder that you’re down in the back, with that many kids!” As they coasted into Poplar Bluff one of the wheels fell off of the car on Main Street. They had paid $125.00 for this car six months before with money that they had borrowed from Dewey Piatt. This piece of junk was sold for $75.00 and was used to operate a sawmill. Well, was it worth noting? I think Pat was wrong, with this one. And because of that I feel justified in telling you a couple of Aunt "Pat's Pet Phrases", "Aw shit, Claudie" and "You Little Heathen". Claudie could have been rich twice, if he had a nickel for each time that Pat uttered these priceless words! Don't think that Claudie has always been a barrel of laughs. He was the most infuriating kid in the world to do dishes with. He would do just about anything to get my goat and if all else failed, he would pop me with his cup towel. Infrequently I would call Pop to intercede which was a mistake. He would give us both hell and threaten to knock our heads off. Being older than Claudie he always gave me the most lip and said that I should be able to control the situation. As smart as Pop was it always surprised me that he wasn't able to see through Claudie's angelic facade. Of course this tickled Claudie all the way to the tip of his big toe. It's no picnic working with a younger sibling. Glenn and I didn't gee-haw very well, either. Glenn would tell me that if I couldn't keep up with the big dogs to stay on the porch. On one of Claudie's return trips from Odessa, he brought some Uninvited travelers with him. (Namely, a large colony of crabs.) So Pop took him to the drug store in the Bluff and told the pharmacist that he needed two bottles of blue ointment. When the pharmacist asked Pop what he needed it for. Pop told him that his son had come back from Texas with a bad case of crabs. The pharmacist told Pop that one bottle would be sufficient to kill all of them. Pop yelled, “Aw hell, you haven't seen how many he's got! Claudie said that this outburst turned every head in the store. (Red Glass said that he had a sure cure for crabs. His cure was to pour whiskey all over the pubic region and then sprinkle on a table spoon of sand. Then when the crabs got drunk enough they would stone each other to death.) Claudie claimed that he got the crabs from a wool bathing suit, but I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't pick them up at the Star Light Lounge in Odessa. This was Marty's old hang-out when he went there to practice his singing of, "It's Crying Time." Most people at home would have had a difficult time communicating, without their down-home expressions. Instead of thank you they would say, “much obliged.” Some of their parting shots were, “I'll see you later, if the lord is willing and the creek don't rise, see you in the funny papers, don't take any wooden nickels or see you in the zoo.” Claudie has a current one that I really like its, “Keep your plow in the ground.” Pop had a few hundred of them and some of them would part your hair. One of his pet expressions was bull-shit, if he disagreed with someone which he tempered to bull-corn about the time that I married Barb. So she was evidently a good influence on Pop. Mom Mc Allan approved of this change because she still uses it. A couple of Pop's expression I got a kick out of were, "He's about half goofy" for someone that wasn't very swift and "He's drunker than Cooter Brown" for someone drunker than a hoot owl. Claudie must have approved of these too, because he still used these, plus many others. Submitted by: Charles McClure March 2006